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THE LONG NIGHT (2022, USA) Movie review, plot, trailer, rating

I’ve been convinced a hundred times that when something looks like shit and stinks like shit, it’s usually shit, but that didn’t stop me from stepping into this movie shit. The premise of this horror seemed interesting to me and despite the warningly low rating on IMDB (3.7 as I write this), I decided to give “The Long Night” a chance and unfortunately endured to the end. This was one of the most annoying horrors I’ve ever managed to watch and I’m actually a little embarrassed to have managed to watch it to the end. He appears here in episodic roles of two apparently completely failed actors (Jeff Fahey and Deborah Kara Unger), and in the spotlight is a young couple who will be the target of a bizarre apocalyptic cult.

Grace (Scout Taylor – Compton who played Laurie Strode in Rob Zombie’s Halloween as a teenager) and Jack (Nolan Gerard Funk) are a couple from New York who headed south to find out who her parents are. While Grace is an orphan, Jack is from a wealthy snobbish family, and for years she has been trying to find out who her parents were. She will be contacted by a mysterious investigator who claims to have concrete clues about her origins, and the two of them will head to his isolated plantation deep in the American South. The acting itself was enough of a warning to set off an alarm that almost exploded in that stereotypical scene when a city couple from the north stopped at a gas station where they were apparently hostilely weighed by good old hillbilly.

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Grace and Jack will somehow get to the plantation, but even though there are no investigators, they will enter that typical house from the south that seems to have fallen out of “Gone with the Wind”. While they wait for the host to show up, some weird things are going to happen. Grace will begin to experience some dark visions, in the woods she will find one of those occult altars as from “True Detective.” Of course, they will be left without a signal on their cell phone, and their home phone will turn off, but the highlight will be when they realize that their house is surrounded by members of a cult. A dozen people in long coats and goatee masks on their faces had obviously come for something or someone, and Grace would realize that a much better option would have been for her if she hadn’t gone rummaging through family history. This was pretty bad from start to finish, completely unoriginal and quite pointless, and incredibly boring for a horror film of this type. Rating 4/10.

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